Tag: opinion

Dried Baby Organ Dispensary – 10-20-06

20061020-dbod.jpg

DBOD brught to you by Wood Pipes & Ivan Dihoff

Welcome to the Dried Baby Organ Dispensary. Here at the D.B.O.D. we pride ourselves on collecting and recommending only the freshest of jams to smoke your babies to.

I would like to open this week’s installment of the D.B.O.D. with a few words of praise for my esteemed colleague and partner in crime, the one and only Ivan Dihoff. Week after week Ivan continues to bring us brilliant and insightful, and brilliantly insightful meditations on some of this year’s most complex musical releases, often with very little time to do so. Ivan; I am unable to articulate the depths of my gratitude. This column would not be possible without you.

Also: I do not typically offer much in the way of a preamble for this column, this is intentional and it is how I usually prefer to conduct business, but this week I do have a few thoughts that I would like to share with you before I get to the reviews.

Firstly, I want to reiterate that I recommend all of the music that I review; I’m not going to waste your time with anything that I don’t think is worth exploring. That said, I would love more than anything for everyone who takes any interest in the music that I review to be able to hear that music. I do however realize that many of these releases might be somewhat difficult to get a hold of. Some of these records, for instance the Fujiya & Miyagi album that I reviewed last week, have yet to see their stateside release.
I have all of the music that I review. Unfortunately my music collection is temporarily off-line, due to a particularly malicious virus that has taken up residence in my computer. Once this problem is fixed and I get things up and running again, everyone connected to the Antioch network will have unlimited access to the entirety of the Dried Baby Organ Dispensary via iTunes.

For those of you outside of the Antioch community who have a little bit of pirate in your blood, there are always file-sharing programs. For PC users I would recommend Soulseek and for Mac’s I hear good things about bit torrent programs.

And, of course, you can always be a good fan and go to the record label’s website and put in an order.

Yo, this is a story stick?

Album of the Week

20061020-beach.jpg Beach House- Beach House
[Carpark :: 2006 ]

In a glass, star-lit ballroom on some deserted beach where it is always autumn, this album plays forever. Old, dusty memories waltz back and forth as you realize just how beautiful the summer was, and it makes your heart ache. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed by brief moments of clarity where I realize that I am in fact still alive, and I think back to very happy places in my life and I feel sad. That is what this music makes me feel like. The sun never goes down because it is always night here. It’s hellish in a way; a never ending succession of almost and what ifs and once upon a times, and no matter which way you look at it it’s still just you, alone on a beach. I think most of us have had at least a glimpse of that sensation. It is a fairytale gone horribly, awfully wrong, much like the world that we live in and the lives that we pursue. But glory be, we all will die eventually; this music will not. What a nice beach.

Ivan Knows Best…

20061020-ignatz.jpg Ignatz – Ignatz
[ K-RAA-K :: 2006 ]

Wood Pipes:
Have you ever seen an old daguerreotype of a tornado? No? Well neither have I, but that’s kind of what this music kind of looks like in my mind. The album cover, as you may or may not be able to tell, is a picture of a lone house glowing through the darkness, waiting. This is also fairly appropriate imagery. Put the two of those together and you might find yourself with some weird and fantastic scene of a tornado sweeping through an old, candlelit ghost town somewhere on the dark side of the moon. But is the tornado singing to the houses, or are the houses singing to the tornado?

Ivan: I GNATZ
It has become apparent to this reviewer that producing music is an arduous task, by that I mean, “It ain’t easy�. In this C-D (note that A,B have already been eliminated) it is really not until track four (the tracks are in order one to eight, track four is therefore the fourth track), it is, as I was writing (myself just finishing track three), not until this track does actual music become produced.

This “music� consists of various notes following each other rather quickly and in some kind of order. With only a little effort to ignore the rest of life can one actually begin to move slightly to the rhythm and actually predict more or less what notes are forthcoming.

Within this is, of course, lies the appeal of music. In life no one ever does know what the next beat will be and how to protect oneself from it. In good music one does and can actually determine how to move one’s torso, lift a right or left leg, and do strange motions with their arms and hands. Some people otherwise endowed also manage to shake certain prominent parts of their anatomy and therefore add more interest to this reaction to music. I have heard people call this reaction to music “dense�. Maybe only stupid people can do it, I have no opinion on the subject, and I only review music. However I think it is nice for dense people to have something to do.

The last three tracks appear to allow the musicians to relax and just use their instruments at random. At times there are muted voices, someone seemed to be asking for a cigarette or some compound with which to glue certain thinks together, or a container for a house plant. This relaxed end to the C-D, teaches us that there is always some reward after hard work. As they say “ If there’s no smoking, how can you feel the fire?�

Shows This Week:

  • 10/21; Saturday: Wolf Eyes, John Weise, 400 Blows, Lambsbread @ Little Brother’s, 1100 North High Street, Columbus; 8 PM $12 ($10 adv.)
  • 10/23; Monday: Xiu Xiu, Congs For Brums, Dirty Projectors @ Little Brother’s; 8 PM $12 ($10 adv.)
  • 10/25; Wednesday: Del The Funky Homosapien, Mike Relm, Psalm One, Bukue One, A-Plus @ Little Brother’s; 8 PM $15
  • 10/26; Thursday: Gang Gang Dance, El Jesus Demagico @ Little Brother’s; 8 PM $10 ($8 adv.)
  • 10/26; Thursday: Deerhoof, Fog @ Wexner Center for the Arts, 1871 North High Street, Columbus; 9 PM $12

“Get cut!�

-Wood Pipes

Horoscopes 10.20.06

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 19)

Feeling a little sentimental these days, Capricorn? Maybe wondering whether or not you’re in love? Do you feel like you’ve met the love of your life, and that person makes your heart skip a beat? Oh Capricorn, get your head out of the clouds and your feet back on the ground. Love is a great thing, but can you really handle with the heartbreak right now? There’s time for love later in your life, besides, we know you secretly make out with your senior project. I mean, I know I do…not…er…

Tarot Card: Two of Cups – I want to share the rest of my life with you and only you!!! Slow down Capricorn, you have a tendency to try and move to the next level before it’s time.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20-FEBRUARY 18)

I can see clearly now, the rain of squirrels pelting me with nuts is gone. Hey Aquarius, all those problems you thought you had, those weren’t so bad now were they? Didn’t I tell you life would be okay? So your cat died this week, but maybe you’ve got a special someone in your life, and if they aren’t special yet maybe they will be. Try not to focus on the dark times in the past, look towards the potentially blindingly bright ones in the future.

Tarot Card: Six of Swords – Back in my day we had to swim through eel-infested waters and fight off ginormous rats, why are you complaining about a twohour ride in a leaky boat?

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19-MARCH 20)

Have you stepped through the looking glass recently? It may seem that way. Your life might be smoke and mirrors, but you have more sensory organs than your eyes…and I so wasn’t talking about that so put it away, Pisces. In fact, you may want to put it away for this week until you figure out exactly what it is you want from those ever so complicated personal relationships that you always have. Pisces have not known which tail to eat first since the beginning of time. Your friends may have opinions, might be time to listen to them even if you decide not to take it.

Tarot Card: King of Swords – I think I know what’s going on, but let me talk to my advisors first. That’s the first good idea you’ve had all term, nice going.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19)

And there was much rejoicing throughout the land!!! You seem to be in a much better mood than you’ve been in for a while, go with it. Believe it or not you work better in a good mood so you might be able to get that five-page paper done much quicker than you would have otherwise. Then you can go out and party with the best of them.

Tarot Card: Three of Cups – We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind. This Safety Dance has been sponsored by CG and the manufacturer of Trojan condoms…but not really.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20)

You and Gemini have swapped positions. You’re the one feeling tied down by life, work, and everything else this week. When’s the last time you had a vacation? No really. We’ll miss you for the week/end you’re gone, but then maybe you’ll be less cranky when you get back. Bring me back a t-shirt, preferably black. Or, ya know, at least a pretty rock. Tarot Card: Eight of Swords – Guh, I’ll never get out of this place! Have you tried recently?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 21)

It seems like you have quite a few challenges facing you this week. Behind door number one is doom and destruction, and door number too is a vat of acid. You cannot win Gemini, not as long as I write the horoscopes. But actually, your challenges will give you a good chance for some positive, if slightly painful learning experiences. Make sure your claws are properly sharpened before opening any unmarked doors; those are usually the ones with aggressive monsters.

Tarot Card: Seven of Cups (reversed) – So many monsters, so little XP and treasure, but I have to kill them to get to the stuff that’s worth killing.

CANCER (JUNE 22 – JULY 22)

You suddenly have a great deal of ambition this week. That hard shell of yours isn’t soft-boiled after all, at least not yet anyway. Your desire to take on new projects this week may leave you overwhelmed in the future. So make sure you’re only taking on relatively short term projects, or at least things that you know you’ll be able to finish. And if you don’t follow my advice, don’t come sidling up to me expecting a hug or moral support. I prefer my clothing not to be covered in someone else’s mucus, thanks.

Tarot Card: Nine of Cups – You ever been so satisfied, but you go for that extra piece of cheesecake anyway? Do you remember regretting that decision? Go ahead and take the cheesecake, but put it in the mini-ridge for later, otherwise it’s stuffed crab puffs for horoscope-writing Capricorn later.

LEO (JULY 23-AUGUST 22)

You’re ready to leave this stinkin’ place already and you’re going to make a noise about it, dammit. The college sucks, your classes suck, your job sucks, your girlfriend(s)/boyfriend(s) suck in a bad way and life sucks. Pout, pout, pout. Social pressures at Antioch getting you down, thinking about ending it all and moving off to bigger and better things, like OSU? Make a deal with a Capricorn, give me your stuff and I’ll sell it for 100% profit, but at least you won’t have to deal with it, or Antioch, anymore.

Tarot Card: Eight of Cups – I’m sick and tired and I’m not going to take it anymore! Don’t let the door smack you on the way out, and if it does, make sure it hits the flesh parts – it’s just more enjoyable that way.

VIRGO (AUGUST 23-SEPTEMBER 22)

Who do you think you are, a Capricorn? No one said you could try to out do anyone this week, but damned if you aren’t going to try anyway. Considering the influence of the stars and all that mystical crap I’m writing about, you may even succeed. Who knows, you could win my grudging respect at something or other. Yay, Virgo, yay.

Tarot Card: Five of Swords – Hey guys, look how many swords I can carry, can you carry this many, hey…hey guys…where are you going?

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22)

This term is going fast, and what have you achieved recently? Every time you try to accomplish something it seems like there’s no time for it. It’s all part of the philosophical phenomena known as Being Towards Death. Try not to get so caught up in how little time you have left and more on what you’ve already done. It will at least be some comfort until this overwhelming feeling passes.

Tarot Card: Knight of Swords – Time’s flying by, if I ride faster I might be able to catch up. *die*

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23-NOVEMBER 21)

Scorpio has been asking me for a good horoscope for weeks. Can’t say I’ve got good news for you this week either, sorry kids. You’ve got a burden to bear and no one in sight to pawn it off on. Luckily your back seems pretty strong these days and it’s nothing you can’t handle. But don’t forget to take a break and take care of yourself every now and again. Hey, I hear they’re doing massage in Wellness now, ever considered getting a quick rub down between study sessions?

Tarot Card: Ten of Wands – All these damned lab classes I’m taking, no time for my own pleasure. My woes line up like bottles of wine on my dresser and I’ll never be able to sell these books back for anything remotely close to what I paid for them, and that God awful Capricorn keeps writing me bad horoscopes!

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22- DECEMBER 21)

Way to go Sagittarius. This week you’ll be able to get along with people you never thought you would get along with. A little domestic harmony coming your way perhaps? That person in your hall that you’ve hated all term, you know the one, might actually make some concessions about their asshole-ishness. Not rubbing it in their face, no matter how much the Leo deserves it, won’t help you maintain this new found eased social tension. So just go with the flow and start from this week without focusing on the horrific awkwardness earlier in the term.

Tarot Card: Six of Cups – So…you wanna be my friend? But…I thought you hated me. Nah, I’m just a huge dork. Yes you are, Sagittarius.

Letter from Callie Cary

“In our society the two institutions commissioned to provide the substance of a democratic public sphere, as a place for critical nquiry, are the news media and academia.�
This quote comes from a review of David Horowitz’s book “The Professors: The 101 Most Dangerous Academics in America� by 1979 alumnus Robert McCheseney entitled “David Horowitz and the Attack on Independent Thought,� “ in which both McCheseney and Antioch alum Gordon Fellman ‘57 are included.

Robert McCheseney is a Research Professor in the Institute of Communications Research and the Graduate School of Library and Information Science at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign.

Changing campus culture in the name of intellectual freedom is certainly not a new theme in the higher education community. The larger question is how is the term intellectual freedom being defined and by whom? Are the standards universally applied to everyone in the community, and who or what are the arbiters of those standards? And finally, what are the intended educational outcomes of these cultural changes?

It was made clear by President Lawry in his first address at Community Meeting last spring, as well as at subsequent meetings with the Alumni Board and alumni groups around the country, that he seemed to arrive with an agenda, a preconceived opinion about the campus culture and the governance system.

According to the President’s assessment, as stated in “Lawry Challenges Campus Culture; Students Troubled� (Yellow Springs News, 10/5/06), students are too confrontational, lack mutual respect and social maturity, are self-indulgent, use menacing language, and speak irresponsibly, and all these behaviors lead to an anti-intellectual, closed community that prevents students from being able to “embrace the full spectrum of ideas and opinions, without prejudgment….� The article goes on to say that Lawry feels that “A less threatening campus…will help the College retain some of the students who tend to leave Antioch because they feel attacked by other students.�

Where did the President’s perspective come from after such limited exposure to the student body, or anyone else in the community? Is this based on anecdotal information provided by those who oriented him before his arrival? In his presentations, Lawry sites a conversation he had with a student while he was on campus being interviewed for the presidency- a student who had said that he might transfer out of Antioch because he felt uncomfortable with the campus culture. Lawry has also mentioned how a student wearing Nike sneakers got attacked for not being more sensitive to the scourge of sweatshop production. OK, but is there some concrete data to support the theory that the campus culture is the main reason we lose students, or why students don’t come to Antioch? Past data from the exit interviews conducted by the Dean of Students Office over the years has shown that students leave for a variety reasons, including financial, social, academic, developmental, and finding a dream co-op, but very rarely because of campus culture and climate. According to existing data, there has never been one overriding reason for student attrition.

And so, it’s been almost 10 months since this message was first delivered. What steps have been taken to change the campus culture? Apparently, the governance system has been targeted as an axis of confrontation and is described as “out of control� and combative with the administration.

I am puzzled by this assessment. I served on Community Council (ComCil) in 05/06 and was extremely impressed with the high and civil level of discourse between faculty, staff and students, the student chair’s oversight of the meetings, the humor and creativity of the members, and the overall sense of responsibility members felt for the community. We debated, persuaded, challenged, changed our minds, built consensus and agonized over some difficult and frustrating situations on the campus. We also made every effort to engage with the administration to orient the new President to the Council’s purpose, and to express concern over some of the decisions that were being made without any consultation with Comcil, decisions that had historically been brought to Comcil for deliberation and input.

Although at times a very frustrating experience, for me as an alum, it defined one of Antioch’s core values and part of its mission – to create informed risk takers through participation in a laboratory of democratic decision- making. It would be a mistake to define Antioch’s system of governance as a locus of power for all decision- making, but it would be equally misguided to discredit and ignore the significant educational implications of the decision-making process that happens within this system.

Community governance at Antioch provides one of the most unique educational experiences the College has to offer and, if properly facilitated, allows all community members to feel some ownership and responsibility for the community in which they live and work. For students, these skills are further developed and tested in the various co-op communities they enter around the globe. It is this praxis that, with trial and error, teaches students some sense of humility and cultural mobility. It is the ingredient that helps to turn out so many interesting, entrepreneurial, and, yes, outspoken graduates. Last year Antioch College had three graduating students receive Fulbright awards. That sort of intellectual inquiry doesn’t happen in a vacuum!

I have never understood the concern that oppositional perspectives, be they conservative or radical, are somehow oppressed at Antioch.

Antioch alumni, young and old, have always been represented throughout the political spectrum. I know for a fact that Republicans and radicals (some now democrats) actually sit side-by-side with each other as Trustees and Alumni Board members! The alumni work in both the for-profit and non-profit sectors, many are organizers, artists and educators, but regardless of their path, most feel passionately about their values. The alumni take Antioch’s first President Horace Mann’s dictum “Be ashamed to die until you win some victory for humanity� very seriously.

There are some very real challenges facing Antioch right now, and while there is nothing inherently wrong with working on creating a campus that promotes open dialog, the administration needs to be sure to walk the talk and to create a forum that builds consensus around what the walk is…and maybe what shoes should be worn. I would also hope that energy is quickly shifted to other institutional priorities with specific steps being outlined on how best to address the recruitment and retention of students and faculty of color, improving the physical plant, supporting faculty moral, professional development and the integrity of tenure, and building a culture of mutual respect and labor incentives for the union workers, exempt staff and middle managers.

Top-down decision-making rarely has any educational value and it generally doesn’t promote a climate of mutual respect or intellectual freedom. If retention, recruitment and fund raising are the priorities right now (as they have been for decades), the entire Antioch community should be embraced as ambassadors, future alumni, future donors, future leaders, and advocates of an extraordinary educational experience that has held a truly unique place in the landscape of higher education.

Callie Cary ‘84
Second-generation alum and former Director of Alumni Relations

Community Art Showcased in Pennell House

By CCNWSS

20061020-pennell1.jpgPhotos by Kari Thompson

Last Friday night’s art party showcased the talent of a veritable smorgasbord of community artisans. Works ranged from photos, to paintings, to advantageous performance pieces, as Antiochians dropped their pitchforks and Molotov cocktails in favor of wine glasses, and tasty hors devourers. Pennel house was transformed into an art gallery for the evening, and rag tag Antioch students were transformed into hoity toity (fancy pantsy) art critics, and connoisseurs. Some noteworthy pieces included some beautifully restored photographs by Ms. Lauren Hind, Hope Swigart’s jarring and captivating senior project, and some real pretty collective work from the AEG. Props to Erin Winter for her hard work in rounding up and creating a venue for the expression of some really great talent.
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Pennel house literally buzzed with hushed chatter, and subtle flirtations. From the porch, where chilly smokers congregated to discuss art, and semantics (is Frumpy really a word?) to the first floor and its effective use of balloon technology- Pennel house provided a more intimate, and sophisticated atmosphere then the more raunchy seedy back alley grinding factory that is the Antioch dance space. Maybe it was this elevated level of mature socialization that enabled Emma Emmerich to keep her ass off me for five minutes. Mahina Embers who was responsible for a sweet series of polaroids was also responsible for a sweet series of broken hearts, leaving us all pondering- where’d you learn to walk in those heels? I also can’t help but wonder Sarah Buckingham, did you get the guy… you know the guy who ran off with your sleeves? Mariel Traiman said of the evening “It was fun, but then I left… to make out.� Chris McKinless’ nipples were back in action, as he stunned crowds with his JC Penny apparel 3 buttons undone, check my locket flare. Brokeback Perry’s cowboy hat rivaled the artwork for most compliments received throughout the course of the evening, and not to be forgotten was Marissa Fisher resplendent in a lovely green frock, as she performed an avant garde piece in which she provided useful service which ranged from dream interpretation, to nick name christening. Marissa, we wish to thank you for your creativity, and continued spirit- we hope Antioch always has a space available for your shenanigans.20061020-pennell4.jpg

Contributing artist Jeremie Jordan has spent years looking for credit in the straight world, and his travels have landed him here. I was fortunate enough to be able to sit down with this up and coming super star to talk “art�.

CCNWS: Jeremie, what is art?

JJ: In my personal opinion, the dominant academic view of art is that it is a form of communication. Though sometimes there might be a message in painting, etc. In my opinion, and for me, it’s more about the process than the result. If people like it, they like it, but that’s not why people should make art.

CCNWS: Tell us about your piece

JJ: It’s a glock 45… is that a real gun? But seriously, I did an oil painting of Emma Goldman at 17, because she’s one of my heroes. And I did a painting on a piece of a desk which belonged to my sister, and framed it in an antique cigarette dispenser.

CCNWS: As a real world artist, what do you think of the Antioch art scene?

JJ: It is my experience that there have been two distinct art worlds, the introverted student art scenes where galleries will only host works from local college students, and the art scene of the DIY punk rock variety where people throw shows for each other, and hope to gain attention elsewhere.

CCNWS: Do you feel like being a college student will add to or detract from your art?

JJ: I would say that there are more distractions in school, where before I had all the time I needed to devote to anything I wanted to accomplish. But either way my art is typically inspired by my environment, and the events in my life, so I imagine that they can mutually inspire each other.

CCNWS: In closing, who would you say is the best dressed Antiochian.

JJ: Erin Cisewski, and Alice Philbrick. Emma Woodruff wowed audiences with her vocal range, and guitar strummings. The band Drive By Schiavo wrecked the house with their rip roaring good time rock and roll rhythmic romps. People were seen crowding into the doorways, elated at the prospect of being within spitting distance of these hot on the scene pseudo rock stars, who added to their elusive allure by playing in the near pitch black darkness. Transfer student Erin Cisewski remarked “I’m so bored I could die� Moments before plummeting out the window as she leaned into the night to light a clove cigarette.

In summation, it’s sometimes nice to give your hips and ear drums a rest from the bumping bass lines, and booty-rap lyricism of yester year to settle down with some nice noise rock, wine, cheese, and good art. Sleep with the angels dear community, this is the Co-operative council for a non-wack social scene.

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Nookie with Niko

Hello. . Before I my start my over-sexed advice column I’d like to take a moment to thank Danny Solis. He took the time to post a beautifully written letter on Pulse, even after moving away and graduating. Danny was a leader in this community; it’s good to see him still involved. We need more people to set it up. I’d also like to thank those having a dialogue about it. So many people are afraid to voice their opinions now, but it’s what we’ve got to fight with. Staff, the students, faculty, and we are Antioch. It is our responsibility to preserve our college. Not to mention we are in a crucial point in our history and we have the chance to shape that. Step up, fight back, and hold on to the Antioch that the generations know and love.
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Okay, okay onto the sex…

This week I bring you scary sex urban legends and rumors, and the truth behind them in celebration of Friday the 13th. As someone born on the 13th and had many wonderful birthdays on this so called unlucky day I hope to use this as a time to dispel the myth of danger that will ensue on the 13th. I understand the creepiness, but it seems to me our society perpetuates fear of Friday the 13th. Paraskevidekatriaphobics is the name for those irrationally afraid on Friday the 13th. Yeah they even have their own name. Did you know that some building even leave out a 13th floor? 13 is considered a creepy number all over. Before I get carried away though, here cum the top 8 sex urban legends!

#8
Male-bodied people getting pregnant? Ever seen the movie Junior? It’s a comedy about Arnold, California’s governor,, who gets knocked up. I’m sorry but I just don’t think he could actually handle it. This well-known hoax traveled through cyber space and fooled thousands. Thought they aren’t considerate enough to say male bodied over men. Check out www.malepregnancy.com to get the full scoop. The site is pretty convincing, but still a fake. Needless to say male bodies can’t get pregnant, yet. Maybe one day, but for now only female-bodied people can carry children.

#7
May I have your attention please! Ogling breast does NOT increase men’s life spans. An email referencing a fake article in the New England Journal of Medicine started going around in 2000. The article spoke of study that confirmed that men who ogle breast have increased life spans. Come on, couldn’t they think of a better way to make this behavior seem okay? Needless to say it wasn’t too hard to figure out it was a fake. The email can be found at: urbanlegends.about.com/library/weekly/ aa072600a.htm?once=true&

#6
I heard lots of bad ideas about different types of contraceptives, like reusing condoms. Though this one is about Mountain Dew. Yeah that super sugary Pepsi product. Apparently sugar and caffeine can keep you from getting pregnant. If that were true you would think my two cups of coffee in the morning would do the trick. The idea is that Mountain Dew decreases men’s sperm count thus making pregnancy impossible. It’s only take one sperm to get someone pregnant. This one’s been around since the 90’s. I know I heard it growing up. Millions of youth and young adults actually bought this. Here’s another blaring reason to have comprehensive sex education in high schools. But that’s a whole other rant.

#5
Another internet rumor was about getting head. A rumor popped up claiming that women who suck cock on a regular basis have lower rates of breast cancer. So basic idea is women get out there, suck a lot of cock, now! Obviously men wrote this and the breast article. Another fucked up way to justify objectifying and using women. I heard this rumor in school and different variations, such as semen is very healthy for you. When it comes to giving and getting great head the only benefits is reduced stress, pleasure, and hopefully an orgasm. Personally I think those are more than enough.

#4
Did you happen to see the fake Puma ads that came out a while ago? Check them out. This sprung up and caused quite a ruckus. Nice shoe’s, but what’s that on your leg?

#3
People love their butts. People love sticking things in their butts. Despite there being a big anal taboo, many people love to stick things in their assholes. If there is one thing I hope people will learn, it is that if you are going to put anything in your butt it MUST have a flared base. The anus will literally suck in a toy, and you’ll have no way of getting it out without going to the doctor. Despite many rumors doctors have found over 140 different objects inside people’s asses. Such as light bulbs, plantains, curling irons, baseballs, shampoo bottles, a cattle horn, a frozen pig’s tail, and a tobacco pouch. For the sick and twisted perverts, like me, who want to see the whole list go to: www.well.com/user/cynsa/newbutt.html

#2
Would you believe it if someone told you that there are actual people fighting against breast-feeding? Stating it’s an “incestual and immoral perversion.� At least a good portion of America bought this prank. Could you imagine? Seems to me we have better things to rally against, especially at Antioch.

#1
Masturbation will make you go blind or grow hair on your palms. Who hasn’t heard these rumors? For the record this is absolutely not true. Masturbation is great and healthy; everyone should do it all the time. Literally. Maybe Antioch would be a better place if people just got off more often!

See you next week!