About two years ago when I was deciding on colleges one of the most important aspects that drew me to Antioch was the size of our queer community. When I came to Antioch I was assured by a friend that there is a large ratio of queers on campus. It was frustrating to find out upon arrival that there are only a handful of queer men on this campus. Continue reading Op/Ed – A fag in a fagless community.
Tag: queer
Nookie with Niko
This is the last issue of fall term, which means in less than a month I’ll be back at Antioch. I’m very excited to see all my Antioch friends and all the new first years. I hope your first term was wonderful. I’m sure next term brings many surprises and great parties. Let’s hope for a great spring term.
Today I’m coming out. Now I’m sure you are wondering what I, Niko, could possibly be coming out about this time. I’ve come out as so many different things like being queer, trans, and kinky. Now I’ve talked about this topic before, but not from a personal place. I’m not planning on telling my family for a long time, but I think my Antioch community will be supportive. I’m a sex worker and have been for almost a year now. Sex work is a broad term, for me I fall into the porn performer category. Let me tell you about how it all started. Continue reading Nookie with Niko
CCNWSS Retrospective
By the CCNWSS (Mariel Traiman)
It’s been a wild ride Antioch, a rockin’ rollercoaster of unparalleled highs, and unenthusiastic lows. Through it all I’ve been there, diligently reporting on every pulse pounding, bass thumping, hip thrusting, cream leaking minute of party passion. From our nervous and humble beginning at the Swan Island show (remember when you could still buy beer? That was sweet) to the sinful orgy of binary busting debauchery we call Genderfuck. How you’ve watched me grow from back in the good old days of shameful anonymity, to the time I accidentally made the whole school hate me, to the times you’ve come up to me with kind words of encouragement- maybe just to say “thanks for appreciating my dance moves.†So join me for a little trip down memory lane as I relive some of my favorite party quotes and moments of the semester. Continue reading CCNWSS Retrospective
Dispatches from Community Meeting
By Kathryn Leahey
This week did not see a run-of-the-mill community meeting. Most noticeably, Levi B. was not joined by his usual cohorts. With one home sick and the other preparing for the Black and Tan bash, Hope and Melody were filled in for by the highly capable Ms. Sarah Buckingham. Beyond the obvious lineup change, more community members, that is, most of them, were conspicuously absent. McGregor 113 held a, sadly, farless- than-capacity audience when Levi called the meeting to order. Nagging Statement Number One: People, for the love of Pete, come to community meeting! By not going, you are only costing yourself some delicious berry-flavored ice cream and the opportunity to argue and make your voice heard. I have heard innumerable people around campus complain about community government being taken less seriously by this administration. If you want shared governance, take a flipping share in it. Do not submit to apathy.
The meeting began as usual with our weekly round of gratitude. Luke Brennan thanked the Record staff and all those community members who have contributed letters to the paper as of late. Levi B. thanked all those who volunteered in the CG office after the desperate plea for help was made on First Class. All those involved with Ann Shine’s piano recital, Community Day activities, the Pennell House art party, and Daniel Farrell’s speech were also thanked. Dennie Eagelson and Janice Kinghorn were thanked for the procurement of the aforementioned delicious raspberry ice cream. Additionally, two student-cum-nurses and an anonymous flower-bearing friend rounded out those on the receiving end of the community’s thankfulness.
As usual, Cil updates were not terribly extensive. As of the time of the meeting, AdCil had yet to meet for the week. However, we did learn the ComCil is continuing their discussion on REB versus RAB and are planning on establishing a RAB restructuring committee to meet the college’s present needs.
Most of the announcements made this week were repeat reminders of things announced at our last meeting. Once again, the Uprising Tour will be taking place on campus soon with a special performance by Drive By Shiavo, a speaker from the ACLU will be coming on the 23rd, and the Alumni Board will be here this weekend. Applications for CM and for Pennell House coordinator, Record editor, and C-Shop manager are still due on the 27th of October and 2nd of November, respectively. In new news, On Saturday at 8 pm, there will be a chem-free harvest-time themed party at the Wellness Center, and the Queer Center is having a meeting on Monday. We also learned as a community that Meghan Pergrem does, in fact, love Erin Winter, as was announced by the former this Tuesday. Then into the blender we went: it was time to Pulse. Our major topic this week was the issue of respect, especially that for CG, its officers, and its things. To begin, CG has office hours for a reason. We are all encouraged to use them. If no one is there during office hours and you need assistance, call the office at PBX 1050. More pressingly, as you may know, the old piano available for use in the Union, which may or may not have been slated to be thrown away, was destroyed at some point late last week. Levi commented that a general sense of entitlement may be cited as the reason why someone would do something like that. Nagging Statement Number Two: I’d like to send a big WTF to anyone involved in this senseless act of vandalism. What’s the point? Why destroy something that belongs to CG and, thus, in a sense, all of us? Step up. Take responsibility. Use this opportunity to change the bratty, privileged attitude that allowed you to do this in the first place.
After learning that a possible Cactus Liberation Front has stolen a giant cactus from Units 1, the conversation on this topic drifted to possible solutions to the problem. Jeanne Kay and Perry have started a fundraising effort to replace the piano. If you’d like to help, talk to one of them. Beyond possibly replacing the instrument, several schools of thought emerged about what ought to happen in regards to the situation. The idea that the pieces of the broken piano be turned into art was presented, although some felt that this should only occur if the piece of work would still be able to produce music. The idea that “people [the vandal(s)] must know they will suffer� was put forth, but others called for greater positive thought and action. Amanda felt as though the destruction of the piano can be contributed to a phenomenon referred to as the “tragedy of the commons� and suggested that a sign stating “My name is Betty. I’m a piano. Take care of me!� posted on the piano may have prevented such an occurrence, an idea that provoked giggles from the crowd but will have Levi looking into the idea of naming other things around campus. Finally, I think most people’s feelings can be summed up by what Nicole stated near the end of our short meeting: “We don’t have nice things. We don’t really have [pause] things…but don’t destroy ‘em, because we sure as hell aren’t going to get new things.� Until next week, Antiochians, to paraphrase Joe Cali, try not to break anything. And don’t fall down.
Nookie with Mimi & Niko
Hi again and welcome! This week I bring you a reprint of my column last term on transgender and genderqueer people and sex. I think this topic is important and I wanted our new community members to have access to this information.
As a self identified genderqueer trans guy this issue is near an dear to my little tranny boi heart. I want to remind everyone that every trans person is different. I cannot represent everybody. I will do my best to provide you an accurate overview and some personal insight. Thanks and enjoy!
So, what do you do when the person you are interested in is trans? Here at Antioch we want to do our best support people’s identities and treat people well. We do our best to not fuck up pronouns, but it’s even more important to hold yourself accountable if you are sleeping with a trans person.
Firsts it’s important to talk about how we ask questions. What is appropriate and inappropriate to ask? Here a few personal examples of bad questions to ask:
How big are your breasts/cock?
So you are really a woman/man, right?
Good questions to ask are:
What pronoun do you prefer?
What do you like in bed?
It’s scary when the other person’s questions are only about your body, not your body AND you. It’s called exoticfication, and it doesn’t feel good. The best thing you can do is treat the person like a person, not a piece of meat. Make sure you are interested in the person, not just the identity.
There are a lot of body considerations when it comes to trans people. It’s important to ask what places are off limits. Some transwomen don’t ever use their biological parts, same with transmen. Some still love to have them touched. Some always wear a dick, some don’t. Everyone is different. It’s also important ask how each body part should be touched. For example:
Only touch me above the nipple line
Don’t cup my breasts
Don’t be afraid, this is so important for a trans person’s comfort. It’s also very SOPP friendly.
A lot of us have different names for our body parts. Here are some examples, at least for the transmasculine spectrum, I have complied from talking with friends:
Man Titties
Man breasts
Man goods
Boy hole (my personal favorite)
Man pussy
For all trans people it’s important to validate their bodies, much like you validate their identity. Treat transwomen’s bodies as female. Treat transmen’s bodies as male. Tell her how hot her curves are, or that she’s got beautiful breasts. When in doubt ask! Yes, it’s intimidating. But I would much rather have that discussion outside the sheets rather than in them.
It’s also useful to reinterpret how you see body parts. Yeah, I may have been born with a cunt and a clit. But it’s my boyhole and cock now. This is how I view my body and expect my partners to respect this. It’s about changing how you see things. These terms may also change with time, so check in.
Another thing to consider is a person level of transition. Hormones change your body a lot and affect your comfort level. In my situation, my girlfriend, Mimi has watched me change in way no one else has or ever be able to. She stands by my side and has to deal with all the changes too. She supports me and encourages me. So please be supportive of your trans fuck buddies or partners. It’s also important that we, as trans people, are supportive of how our partners are feeling about things too. For those of us new to hormones our body is in a constant state of transition. This is an intense thing for all parties involved.
Not to mention a person’s body perception changes a lot. It took me a lot longer to believe I look liked boy than it did for most of the people in my life. It took me forever to get used to Niko and male pronouns. I’ve gone by Nikki and she for 20 years; it’s weird when that shift happens. Amazing but strange. Communication and Support are the two best things you can do to negotiate sex between you and a trans person, as with anyone. Now to my partner, Mimi …..
Hi all and welcome to the partner-portion of Nookie with Niko. My name is Mimi and some of you might remember me from my brief stint as an Antioch Student in Fall ’05. But now on to what we all care about- how to have sex with a trans person.
I think first and foremost, the bottom line is communication. Communication is probably the most overused word in sex advice articles- but it’s true. You should be able to ask your lover what he/she likes and wants, and respect that, regardless of their sex or gender. Of course, if you are sleeping with a partner regularly, over time you will learn what is and isn’t okay, but at first keep it simple and don’t make assumptions (the same could be said for pronoun usage, gender identity, the list goes on and on).
The most valuable thing I’ve learned about sex and bodies is that the fetus starts out in the same form, regardless of its future sex. As the fetus matures, the extra X or Y chromosome takes affect, testosterone and estrogen are added to the mix, and the genitalia begin to develop towards one end of the spectrum. The binary “male” and “female” are actually just the two farthest ends of a spectrum that has many in-betweens.
The point of all this is that a word is only a word. A clit is what happens to the tip of the penis if there’s no Y chromosome in the fetus. Testes are essentially ovaries; there is a female equivalent to the prostate (called Skene’s gland!). What this means is that whatever your trans partner wants his/her genitals called, they will essentially perform the same function. If you can get over the idea that a clit is a clit is a clit, then anything can be what you call it.
Of course, playing with toys can be a great addition to any sex life, and may enhance the idea of “traditional notions” of what a cock is. I’ve compiled a list of Strap-On Blowjob tips from Sex Toys 101: A Playfully Uninhibited Guide, written by Rachel Venning and Claire Cavanah, to get you started.
-Use a realistic cock… For decent dick sucking you need a sexy number with a clearly defined shaft and head and veins and balls if possible.
-Think psychic dick. Although it’s not a flesh and blood penis, your mind can have a hard on that’s as raging as anyone else’s.
-Do it somewhere nasty
-Put on a good visual show. When you’re sucking, remember that your playmate is getting off largely on imagination.
-Use your hand to push the base of the dick into the blowjob receiver’s pelvis
-If you can deep throat, do it
-Treat the dildo like a real penis
-If you like using condoms… show-off that safe sex trick in which you roll the condom off with your mouth
-A finger in the ass is a potentially mind blowing complement for receivers of any gender