Lust with Levi – “Doin’ It” without “Doin’ It”

Levi B. CowperthwaiteWhat activity comes to mind when you hear the word “sex”? For most people, I would venture to guess, thoughts turn to some form of traditional penile-vaginal intercourse, or at least a healthy dose of very intimate and probably unclothed touching, when primed with the “s” word. Is that all there is to sex, though? Of course not, and for some people, that sort of sex isn’t practical or desirable.

Why not? Well, let’s consider some possibilities: perhaps you don’t have a great deal of sexual experience (or any at all), and you don’t feel ready to make your body that vulnerable to another person (or people), or maybe you have other reasons for not wanting to be physically intimate with another person (or people); perhaps you or a partner have an STI and don’t feel confi dent using barriers for protection; maybe you and your partner(s) fi nd you’re having the same perfunctory sex a couple of times a week and you want to try something new; maybe you and your lover(s) are separated by co-op and want to find sexual fulfilment across the miles. Whatever the reason, doin’ it without doin’ it can be sexy, satisfying, and fun. Here are some suggestions for you to try at home or wherever you do it:

  • Write and exchange erotic stories with your partner(s). Describe your own sexual fantasy or elaborate on a partner’s sexual fantasy. Exchange stories in person or leave it in a surprise location, like in their pajama pocket or under their pillow. Be careful with anything written, however, as you don’t want it to end up in the wrong hands. It’s best not to leave erotic stories or suggestive notes in a lover’s pants or jacket pocket if they’re heading off to work, for example.
  • Make an X-rated video or photo album (using your digital camera and personal printer, of course) for your lover starring YOU! Again, be careful that these things don’t end up in the wrong hands, especially in the event of a less-than-friendly parting. When in doubt, follow a view-once-and-destroy rule
  • Have phone sex. For me, hearing a partner’s voice (their noises, words, etc.) is one of the best parts of sex, so any event highlighting the vocal really turns me on.
  • Have cyber sex. You use the computer for work, school, games, shopping, a date book, and to keep in touch with friends and family, why not use it to enhance your sex life, as well?
  • Two words: mutual masturbation. Pleasure yourself in the presence of your partner(s) while they do the same. You can watch and listen and you know it will feel good because you are your own best lover. Be careful to keep a safe distance during this one in order to prevent the accidental exchange of fl uids.
  • Masturbate with an article of your lover’s clothing (with their consent, of course). Use a dirty shirt infused with your lover’s scent or a clean pair of underwear that you can imagine being close to their “goodies.” This is a fun experiment in texture, too. -Dance. Go to a party or a club and grind up on your partner(s) in the middle of the dance fl oor. This is especially fun if you have some voyeuristic tendencies.
  • Find the quirky things that turn you on. For me, geeking out on social theory with an academic cutie is almost better than sex (almost). What does it for you? Reading abstinence-only curriculum, perhaps?
  • Be creative. The list that I’ve provided is far from exhaustive. Use your own ideas and creativity. A good friend of mine, for example, likes to dress people up as robots and tell them what to do. You might laugh, but it’s what works for her.

I’m sure that all of you have some inventive ideas for doin’ it without doin’ it. Don’t be afraid to try something new, and if you come up with something good, be sure to let me know!

Lusting for You,

Levi B.

P.S. If you hadn’t guessed by now, I’m Levi B., your friendly community sexadvice columnist. You can submit your sex questions to me via email (ecowpert AT antioch-college.edu or Levi Cowperthwaite on First Class) or an anonymous note slipped under the Record office door or placed in the Declassifieds box during Community Meeting, Tuesdays at 3:00 in McGregor 113. I don’t believe that any sex or sexuality-related question is silly or strange, so ask away, Antioch! I’m looking forward to it!

Letter – Paige Clifton-Steele, 2nd year, responds to LA Times article “Who killed Antioch? Womyn”

Paige Clifton-Steele, 2nd year, responds to LA Times article “Who killed Antioch? Womyn”

Hi Ms. Daum,

I’m an Antioch student who just finished her first year. I’m writing because I read your column “Who Killed Antioch? Womyn” in the LA Times, and I’m concerned about your comment on our SOPP, and the trend it (your comment, not our policy) represents. SOPP-era Antiochians are used to the assortment of media misperceptions that have, since 1993, asserted themselves in the face of all evidence and good sense. But in the wake of the announcement of our college’s closing, what used to be a puzzling phenomenon has become salt in the wound. You rightly note that the SOPP and public relations have had a shaky relationship. But you are incorrect to suggest that the policy is infantilizing, and offensive, if not strictly wrong, to characterize its historical context as “hysteria”. I’ll say groundswell, you can say hysteria, and we’ll still be talking about the same 200,000 some sexual assaults reported in ‘04-’05. Which, interestingly, is down 69% since 1993. (Bureau of Justice Statistics)

Continue reading Letter – Paige Clifton-Steele, 2nd year, responds to LA Times article “Who killed Antioch? Womyn”

He Said… She Said…

Welcome back to another cold spring term. “Nookie with Niko” is taking on a new twist this term. We’d like to introduce you to “He” Said / “”She” Said. We’re still talking about sex and politics, but from two different perspectives: the sex nerd’s and the lit nerd’s. We encourage the community to submit questions via email or the Record box. No question is too wild or tame.

NK: Last term I ended on the story of my fi rst porn experience. This is number two. My partner, Milo, and I got in touch with Trouble Royale, the creator or nofauxxx.com. After some conversations, we set up our shoot to become Nofauxxx models. To me this couldn’t have gotten any cooler. Nofauxxx was one of the fi rst radical porn sites that focused on the queer community. You can fi nd their mission statement at: www.nofauxxx.com/tour/mission.htm

MJ: As the saying goes, sex work is the oldest profession. In ancient Assyria and Babylonia, the followers of Ishtar, a goddess of love and benevolence, were the fi rst examples of holy prostitution. They were courtesan priestesses called ishtaritu that enacted the hieros gamos, or sacred marriage. The highest of these sacred prostitutes, the enitum, granted sovereignty to the King through his “marriage” to the goddess.

NK: Milo and I showed up to the shoot, instructed to bring pink and black attire. I was a bit nervous. I was about to fuck and be fucked on camera. Trouble had set up her living room around this plush red velvet couch. This is where we’d fuck. Trouble also had snacks and great music on. The environment was so relaxing. We took some time to sit down and discuss the shoot. We were about to do NoFauxxx’s fi rst video. It was scripted some, but it was real sex, and we really came, a lot.

MJ: Not only were the ancient sacred prostitutes a conduit to the divine, but they were responsible for the fertility of the land. In fact, it became the custom for women, regardless of rank, to serve once in their lives as a courtesan priestess. The fi rst incarnation of Ishtar was as the Sumerian’s Inanna in the second millennium B.C. E. One of the sacred prostitutes, Enheduana, wrote cuneiform poetry- the oldest words by an author whose name is known today.

NK: Our shoot was titled “That Teenage Feeling.” Milo and I were supposed to be high school kids who have crushes on each other. Then Milo was to “be in control” and fuck me before I earned the right to fuck her. We were also dressed in all pink and black, even my harness and cuffs were pink and black. We had a small intro as teenagers talking and then progressing through 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base, ‘til we got to the homerun…

Let me tell you, I sure had to work for it and I’m willing to work for it. First I had to suck Milo’s cock to earn my handcuffed ass fucking. I was expected to take it for a while, have to make sure you get all the angles. I was bent over the couch, handcuffed, Milo behind me, fucking me with the diving rod, and Trouble on the fl oor shooting up between our legs. You know what? I didn’t give a fuck. All I could think about was how hot this was. Then I was reminded about the Hitachi magic wand. A sex toy company had donated all the toys to the shoot and we had a lot of options.

MJ: Mesopotamia’s Gilgamesh epic (around 2,000 B.C.E.), mentions Ishtar’s prophecy of a great fl ood. Sound familiar? The Biblical version is a bastardization of Ishtar’s fl ood. Ishtar, in turn, co-opted it from an earlier Babylonian moon goddess, Nuah, whose name, masculinized, is the obvious root of Noah. Also in Gilgamesh, a temple prostitute, Shamhat, civilizes Enkidu by sleeping with him. NK: I had never used a Hitachi, but I’d heard it’s the Cadillac of vibrators. Many women owe their fi rst orgasms to it. I was really excited to give it a go. The low setting is amazing. The high? It will vibrate your clit right off. This is where I came really hard. Now it was my turn to do some fucking. I slipped on my cock and fucked Milo. We varied the position and ended in the “reverse cowgirl,” kissed, and relaxed. We made some money, did some radical porn, and had hot sex. What could be better?

Our video premiered at Homo A Gogo. Which is a huge queer festival is Seatlle. It went on right before “The Crash Pad,” a great new dyke and trans porn put out by Pink and White Productions. Afterwards an Antioch student even called me to tell me they saw it. I think I turned bright red on the other end of the phone.

MJ: In one Babylonian text, Ishtar aligns herself with the common tavern whore, the harimtu, rather than the sacred ishtaritu. In another she says, “A prostitute compassionate am I.”