Sex Toys on a Budget

Sex toys are great. They are fun for personal use or to use with friends and partners. They can help you act out fantasies, spark sexual creativity, explore sensations, and find sexual satisfaction. Some folks have impressive sex toy collections which are a great source of pride – similar to an art collection. And how does one acquire such a collection, you ask? Well, some pieces are probably negotiated into the collection when dividing the assets in a break-up, but generally it’s through money. Good dildos can cost upwards of $50, and I’ve heard of people spending hundreds of dollars on hand-crafted leather pieces (like floggers). Even if you aren’t interested in hand-crafted leather pieces, you can still spend a pretty penny on the most basic of sex toys. I spent $108 on my first dildo and vinyl harness. That’s a lot to spend when you’re a college student making FWSP wages (and haven’t even received your first meager paycheck yet). Never fear! With a little creativity and resourcefulness, your world can be rife with sex toys!
Striking Instruments
If you are interested in play that involves striking or being struck by your partner(s), as in with a paddle, the kitchen (or the kitchenware section of the nearest thrift store) is a great place to look. Try wooden spoons or plastic or rubber spatulas. For variety, try whisks, slotted spoons, tongs, or even ice cube trays (straight from the freezer, sans the ice). Remember, however, that anything porous (like everything listed above) needs to be covered with a condom or designated for use with one person only, which is why checking out the thrift store and investing in cheap items designated for sexual use only is a good idea. Multiple partners? Buy a $0.25 wooden spoon for each of them. How thoughtful! Books as paddles pack an intellectual punch and every college student has books. Another favorite striking instrument of mine is a classic – the paddle or oval style hairbrush. It’s useful for fantasies involving punishment/spankings, as well as hair and hairbrushing (yes, there are people with hair fetishes). My favorite use of the hairbrush, however, is when using hot wax. Once your lover is covered in hot wax, you can remove the more troublesome bits that won’t peel off by running a wire-bristled hairbrush over them in a circular motion. It will be particularly painful over your lover’s sensitive, hot wax covered skin, so if that’s what you’re going for, it’s the perfect tool. Another classic is the belt, though be careful with this one as long, loose ends can hit parts of your lover’s body other than the ones you were aiming for. Practice on a pillow or chair first to perfect your aim. Also, a word of caution with all sex acts involving hitting and striking: as with all things, you MUST communicate with your partner(s) about it before-hand and make sure that everyone clearly understands and consents to the activities. Also, hitting can be dangerous, and you MUST know what you’re doing. The fleshy parts of butts and thighs are generally safe, but be sure to look it up on the internet, ask an expert, or take a class before attempting a potentially dangerous activity.
Break out the lesbian jokes, because here it comes: vegetables. It’s funny, but it’s true that vegetables make excellent inexpensive dildos. Many, such as cucmbers, squashes, and carrots come in a shape convenient for insertion into vaginas (though not anuses, as they generally do not have flared bases and could actually get “lost” inside, which is damn near impossible in a vagina). A friend of mine swears by a peeled cucumber, microwaved just enough to make it warm and malleable. “Decorative gourds,” sold practically everywhere in fall (especially closer to Halloween) come in lots of interesting shapes and textures. Again, make sure you cover all your vegetables with a condom and, actually, wash them first just to be sure your important parts don’t meet with any nasty pesticides. Also, try looking around your room for things that look insert-able. Use some common sense, but remember that barriers are your best friends and small lotion bottles or Ken dolls with molded plastic hair can be covered with condoms and take on valuable new meaning. Do make sure, though, that your found-object dildo is without sharp edges and that anything you insert anally has a flared base and, if you can, a handle.
Get this: anything that vibrates can be a vibrator. Of course, the obvious choice is a vibrating back massager. Some of the products sold as “vibrators” in sex toy stores are actually packaged and marketed as back massagers. These can be comparable in price to sex-toy-vibrators, but the benefit here is that you may already have one that you’ve just never looked at that way before. Another good option is the electric toothbrush. Put a condom on that sucker and you’d be amazed at how oral hygiene can enhance your sex life!
There are many more possibilities for cheap, free, and DIY sex toys, but that’s where we’ll stop for this week. Be creative, use lots of condoms and common sense, and see what you can come up with!
Lusting For You,
Levi B.

Lust with Levi – “Doin’ It” without “Doin’ It”

Levi B. CowperthwaiteWhat activity comes to mind when you hear the word “sex”? For most people, I would venture to guess, thoughts turn to some form of traditional penile-vaginal intercourse, or at least a healthy dose of very intimate and probably unclothed touching, when primed with the “s” word. Is that all there is to sex, though? Of course not, and for some people, that sort of sex isn’t practical or desirable.

Why not? Well, let’s consider some possibilities: perhaps you don’t have a great deal of sexual experience (or any at all), and you don’t feel ready to make your body that vulnerable to another person (or people), or maybe you have other reasons for not wanting to be physically intimate with another person (or people); perhaps you or a partner have an STI and don’t feel confi dent using barriers for protection; maybe you and your partner(s) fi nd you’re having the same perfunctory sex a couple of times a week and you want to try something new; maybe you and your lover(s) are separated by co-op and want to find sexual fulfilment across the miles. Whatever the reason, doin’ it without doin’ it can be sexy, satisfying, and fun. Here are some suggestions for you to try at home or wherever you do it:

  • Write and exchange erotic stories with your partner(s). Describe your own sexual fantasy or elaborate on a partner’s sexual fantasy. Exchange stories in person or leave it in a surprise location, like in their pajama pocket or under their pillow. Be careful with anything written, however, as you don’t want it to end up in the wrong hands. It’s best not to leave erotic stories or suggestive notes in a lover’s pants or jacket pocket if they’re heading off to work, for example.
  • Make an X-rated video or photo album (using your digital camera and personal printer, of course) for your lover starring YOU! Again, be careful that these things don’t end up in the wrong hands, especially in the event of a less-than-friendly parting. When in doubt, follow a view-once-and-destroy rule
  • Have phone sex. For me, hearing a partner’s voice (their noises, words, etc.) is one of the best parts of sex, so any event highlighting the vocal really turns me on.
  • Have cyber sex. You use the computer for work, school, games, shopping, a date book, and to keep in touch with friends and family, why not use it to enhance your sex life, as well?
  • Two words: mutual masturbation. Pleasure yourself in the presence of your partner(s) while they do the same. You can watch and listen and you know it will feel good because you are your own best lover. Be careful to keep a safe distance during this one in order to prevent the accidental exchange of fl uids.
  • Masturbate with an article of your lover’s clothing (with their consent, of course). Use a dirty shirt infused with your lover’s scent or a clean pair of underwear that you can imagine being close to their “goodies.” This is a fun experiment in texture, too. -Dance. Go to a party or a club and grind up on your partner(s) in the middle of the dance fl oor. This is especially fun if you have some voyeuristic tendencies.
  • Find the quirky things that turn you on. For me, geeking out on social theory with an academic cutie is almost better than sex (almost). What does it for you? Reading abstinence-only curriculum, perhaps?
  • Be creative. The list that I’ve provided is far from exhaustive. Use your own ideas and creativity. A good friend of mine, for example, likes to dress people up as robots and tell them what to do. You might laugh, but it’s what works for her.

I’m sure that all of you have some inventive ideas for doin’ it without doin’ it. Don’t be afraid to try something new, and if you come up with something good, be sure to let me know!

Lusting for You,

Levi B.

P.S. If you hadn’t guessed by now, I’m Levi B., your friendly community sexadvice columnist. You can submit your sex questions to me via email (ecowpert AT or Levi Cowperthwaite on First Class) or an anonymous note slipped under the Record office door or placed in the Declassifieds box during Community Meeting, Tuesdays at 3:00 in McGregor 113. I don’t believe that any sex or sexuality-related question is silly or strange, so ask away, Antioch! I’m looking forward to it!