An Open Letter To My Breakfast

Dear Continental Breakfast,

I wake up, or try to wake up, every day at 8 a.m. excited for the day. I put on some spiffy clothes; I brush my teeth, and wash my face. I meet up with my fellow early risers and head out to the Caf.
My mouth waters while I think of breakfast, images of sausage and eggs dance through my head. I tremble anticipation, but when I open the Caf doors my syrupy dreams run off the plate of my mind, my full service fantasy dissolves into a “Continental” reality.
I stand my tired face staring at the meager selection before me, I am far too drained of life to make my own waffles, I know fruit will not provide proper sustenance, and so I go for the safest option, cereal.
I slump down with my meal, black coffee, and fruit loops. My stomach growls angrily at me. My digestive system and I both know that this will not provide enough energy to prevent the onset of sleep during my first class.
So I guess what I want to say to you is “Why did you abandon me breakfast?” I depend on you for the sustenance required to make it to my next meal, which, with my overwhelming class load, is usually dinner. So I need you. I need you to fill me with protein, to give me the power to win my victories for humanity. I need bigger coffee cups, so I can acquire the caffeine I need to stay awake in my dimly lit art history class.
Our relationship used to be hot, now it’s just continental. What happened breakfast? Why can’t we go back to the way things used to be?

With Apprehension,
Ben Horlacher, 1st Year Student